So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
