Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
