Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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