Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize