if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
