Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dicks are not precious.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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