I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
