he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
