girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
