i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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