she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
