i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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