You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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