I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
