I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
