I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
