I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
