Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
