i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
