Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
