Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
