I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
