She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Blood and glitter go together right?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
