you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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