and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
