is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize