i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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