I cockslap morals
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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