Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize