Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
