Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Two words: blizzard sex
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
