Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
