sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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