They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
