Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
