If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
