oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
