So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
