Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I supernannyed him into submission
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
