WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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