The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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