wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Congratulations! We have a period
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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