I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
