Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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