God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
