8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
