meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
