This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dick very happy bro
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
