i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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