I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
