I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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