maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize