Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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