susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
