Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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