Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just google imaged poop.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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