going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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