That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
