I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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