Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
