Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
